Whatever Will I Do Next?
by secretsunset
Summary: What happens after Derek walks out of the elevator in Season 2 Episode 8? Read and find out. Mainly DerekMeredithAddison with some other stuff. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW : Thanks
1. What Now?

Okay, I've pretty much lost my writing "talent" if I ever had any to begin with. I haven't updated in like what...3 months? Wow. So you guys don't expect much from me now. 

I'm starting from the END OF EPISODE 8. Hope you like. And please review.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Derek walked out of the elevator, Meredith was left there standing like a complete and total failure. She felt as if she'd never feel happy ever again and basically her life had just tumbled down a steep, steep hill and that Addison was just a huge, red headed log in the way.

Meredith slowly got out of the elevator, looked both ways hoping to see that Derek was still there, she really needed to talk to him and just pour her heart out. But Derek was no where to be seen. She sighed deeply and headed for the locker rooms, getting ready to head home after another put down.

--------------------

Derek had a lot of trouble making himself walk out the elevator. He truly didn't want to, but he knew he must, of course after all, he DID choose Addison instead. Derek thought he would never life this down unless he went back and talked to her, he had just turned the corner around the chairs, but he stopped, thought for a moment and went back towards the elevators. And there was Meredith…

"Mer! Wait!" Derek yelled out, hoping that she would actually turn around and say something to him.

"What do you want NOW!" Even though she still cared for him, at that moment she really could have cared less. "Just leave me alone. Don't bother 'apologizing' like you always do, it's not gonna work this time."

"Meredith, I want to talk to you, I NEED to talk to you."

He sounded so desperate; she just couldn't hold it back anymore, sighed and practically sobbed out, "Derek, I miss you. I miss you a lot. Nothing's right anymore, I'm not right anymore."

"Meredith…shhhhh, just shhhhhhh." Derek was quite speechless, he had no idea what to do, he never expected her to do this, and he was just unprepared for all that excess emotions. He pulled her towards him, and just held her, kissed her forehead.

"I can't! I just can't take it anymore! I'm sick and tired of being the 'totally fine person' because you know what! I'm not fine. The least finest person ever to be alive at this exact moment." Meredith pulled away, wiped the tears that were steadily rolling down her cheek, she walked briskly to the locker rooms and didn't bother turning back.

"Damn it." He cursed under his breath and said to himself. _"Why do you have to be such a jerk Derek? Why…? The one time she is sober enough to tell the truth, you let her slip away. Dude! Go after her!"_

"Meredith! Meredith wait!" He raced after her, hoping she would answer back. He caught her just in time, she was stepping into the locker rooms when he grabbed her arm gently. "Meredith, go out to dinner with me, please?"

There ya go you guys. I do hope you liked it… Please send reviews. I'll post more soon…

-Yuxin (and that's really my name )


	2. So Far So Good

Chapter 2! Hope you like it and please comment! Thanks!

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

"_Meredith! Go out to dinner with me, please?"_

"Dinner…? With…you? You who is…married?" Meredith asked shocked, happy, and confused at the same time.

"Yes. Me. Come on, what do you say? Addison doesn't have to know about this, it will be our thing." Derek pleaded so hard he was almost begging on his knees. "Think of it as 2 co-workers relaxing off a days work, come on!"

"Except the fact that them 2 slept together, had a pretty damn good relationship together, and then one of the 'co-workers' just so happened to be MARRIED!... and then the other co-worker just lived miserably ever after! Fine then, dinner. Except…we're going to the bar." She half smiled half yelled.

"Okay. Meet me back at the lobby then, I'll drive." Derek had a burst of happiness explode inside of him; he just couldn't help but grin madly.

Meredith turned around, went into the locker rooms and got ready and changed. She hoped this would all work out well enough. Then she headed down to the lobby.

"You look great." Derek complimented, he and Meredith hadn't really seen much of each other lately.

"I have…jeans and a t-shirt on…" Meredith was a little dazzled. "It's not like I'm going to a ball or something."

"Well we haven't really 'hung out' all that much now since…yeah. Let's go shall we?" There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Alright then, here we go…" The both headed out the main entrance and got in Derek's car. "Oh and just for the record, we're not a couple, just 2 old friends at a bar."

Whilst in the car, Meredith wondered where Addison was all this time…_I mean, usually, she always shows up somehow and ruins everything and anything between me and Derek, and gee maybe she's gone after all._ An almost evil smile spread across Meredith's face.

"Why the happy face?" Derek joked.

"I was just thinking." Meredith replied, not wanting to give signs that she still cared all that much.

"Oh. Anyways, here we are." As they pulled up to Joe's bar… there seemed to be a very familiar car parked out there, one both of them had seen before countless times.

They both walked in, and Meredith headed straight for the drinks. "Hey Joe, guess what? Shepherd's here…with me." She smiled. Derek came and sat next to her moments later.

"Oh really, which one?" Joe asked puzzled.

Hehe. Dun dun dun duuunnnn. I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but this one's pretty cool. Hope you guys liked it. Please comment!

-Yuxin.


	3. Uh Oh

Chaptero Threeo. Lol. So what while happen at the bar with Meredith and Derek, and perhaps someone else? Please read and review. Enjoy!

--------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------- ----------------------------- --------

"_Hey Joe, guess what? Shepherd's here…with me." She smiled. Derek came and sat next to her moments later._

"_Oh really, which one?" Joe asked puzzled._

… … … … … … … …

"What are you talking about..?" Meredith was almost scared to ask. It took almost a full minute for those words to process in her head.

"Um…evil mistress at 2 o'clock…" Joe quickly turned around and started polishing cups; the cups were pretty much spotlessly shiny in 10 seconds.

Derek just stared clueless at the whole conversation, but then it finally clicked when he saw the very same curly red headed lady walking towards him. He pretended he didn't see her and turned to Meredith, "Meredith, come on, we gotta go. Like NOW."

"Wait…why? WHAT!" She finally spotted the one and only Addison Shepherd approaching them. "Oh look, if it isn't you're WIFE again." Meredith seemed a little drunk…

"Let's go." Derek said quietly, he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the table in the far, far corner.

"Why don't we stop and chat a little with Addison? She seemed lonely…" Meredith's sarcasm started kicking in pretty quickly.

"Meredith, stop talking. You're drunk." Derek tried to calm her down before they had to put up with Addison.

"Who are you the one to tell me what to do! I can take care of my self thank you very much! Go talk to your wife why don't you." Meredith yelled back. This was not a good moment to be drunk at.

"Well, well…Don't you two look…comfy?" Addison said with a smirk as she walked by seeing Meredith practically overpowering Derek.

"Oh look...it's Satan, say hi to Satan Derek." Meredith revoked back.

"Meredith, shhhhh…" Derek truly didn't know what to do right now. "Addison, let's go over here and we can you know…talk. Meredith will you give me a sec here?"

"Fine Derek, whatever." And she went across the room to the 'liquor stand' leaving the extremely distraught couple at the corner table.

Meredith staggered to the bar and sat down with a thump. "Geez Joe, thanks for the Satan heads up, that helped loads."

"Oh yeah, sure, anytime…Do you uh need some coffee? You seem a little dazed." He joked, he was trying his hardest to make her feel better but he had no idea that she had no idea what was going on…

"I'm not dazed; I'm just the drunk, miserable not-so-evil ex-mistress." Meredith sighed,

"Addison, what…are you…doing…here?" Derek asked almost pausing between every word to calm himself down. Addison just happened to be everywhere he and Meredith were. It was just unfair.

"Well I could argue with that. Derek what are YOU doing here, with MEREDITH!"

"Do you really want to know? Really really?" Derek wasn't afraid to tell her.

"Yes I do Derek. I want to know what you're doing here with Meredith!" Addison debated, it was pretty much impossible to tell who would win this fight.

"We're just talking, talking professional stuff. Talking about professional stuff at a…bar. Nothing fancy."

"Oh right! How silly of me! How could I not have know that you and Meredith were here for BUSINESS reasons! Of course…you made it seem so clear!" She yelled with a sarcastic sneer. Addison grabbed her coat and a beer and headed out the bar, not turning back to give either of them a look.

"Well that went well…" Derek muttered under his breath.

Okay. That's all you get for this week :-P. I'll try to update soon (KATIE!)

-Yuxin


	4. The New Guy

CHAPTER QUATRE! (If you don't know what that means…tough lol) I don't know what to say…so I'm just gonna cut right to it. Have fun! Sorry for the long update time. I don't have THAT much time on my hands. VINDICATED: DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL.

----------- ------------- -------------- ------------ -------------------- -------

So turn

Up the corners of your lips

Part them and feel my finger tips

Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin

Just one touch and I'd be in

Too deep now to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away

So let me slip against the current

So let me slip away…

While the two Shepherds were heavily debating on the other end of the bar. Meredith had come across her own little dilemma. She was just sitting at the bar talking to Joe while he was "busy" wiping glass cups, when a handsome shaggy brown haired came and approached her with a grin on his face.

"Hey is this seat taken?" He asked hopefully.

"Are you married, a brain surgeon, or like fly fishing?" Meredith asked, she was actually serious about this.

"No. No. But yes, I do like fly fishing…what's that have to do with…everything else?" The guy asked puzzled but yet amused all the same.

"Nothing. Nevermind. No the seat is free for anyone willing to take the time to sit down…" Meredith replied dully, she hadn't quite gotten over that fact that Derek was still here and she was still talking to some random guy, she appeared to be still slightly a bit drunk.

"Alright then…You want a drink?" The guy asked, it wasn't really supposed to mean anything, just politeness…maybe…

"Ah…I don't think I should have any more drinks for tonight, but what the heck. Bring it." Meredith threw her arms up, she really could have cared less right now. She kept turning around to see what was happening with the Shepherds.

_I'm okay. I'm fine. Everything's absolutely fine, it's the holidays, I get to relax and FORGET ABOUT DEREK NOW!_ She yelled the last part to herself in her head.

Ah yes… The holidays surely were approaching, very, very, slowly. Well as it seemed for Meredith and practically everyone else around her.

"Here you go, one tequila shot. Try to minimize your alcoholic level will ya?" Joe said as he pushed the shot towards Meredith, he didn't want her vomiting all over again. "Just…have some coffee before you drive home okay?"

"Whatever. Whatever Joe." But still, she drank the cupful in a second.

"So uhhh…are you new here? I've been here a couple times, seems quite…friendly." The guy said nodding at Meredith.

"No. No. No. I've been here before, COUNTLESS times, you don't even know."

"Yeah, I've seen you most of the time I was in here, you and your group of friends. Oh and that one guy." He said pointing over at Derek, standing there in the corner looking a slight bit distraught.

"Oh right. Him…yeah, him. They all seem nice until one day, it's like you run in to them by 'accident' and they just don't stop to apologize. But anyways." Meredith didn't really want this whole thing to be centered around Derek so she quickly changed the subject.

Meredith and the nameless guy were having a jolly good conversation, they even exchanged phone numbers…that is until…

"Um…Meredith, who is that?" Derek said quietly whilst nudging towards the guy, he got a little…nervous.

"Oh um…um…I'm not quite sure…um…I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name…" Meredith said with a chuckle.

"Oh, it's fine, the name's Travis. And you are…Meredith?" He smiled.

"Yes, well it's been a pleasure talking to you…Travis."

"Well you know, call me sometime. I await your call." A broad grin spread over Travis' face and he waved goodbye and he couldn't help leaving the bar with a strange yet pleasant feeling dwelling inside…

hehehe. Okay I'll try to update soon!


	5. I Don't Want To Sleep On the Couch

Chapter 5

What will happen between Meredith and Derek? Or will it be Meredith and Travis instead? Orrrr maybe neither at all…hmm…Song of the moment is: Mr. Brightside – The Killers (haha Sammy this one's for you) Mr. Brightside just happened to be the song I was listening to while typing this and I thought the lyrics KINDA fit…

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss_

"Right so what was that all about? I turn my back and you've picked up another guy?" Derek asked as they were walking out the bar.

"Just a guy. Just a guy like you. Nothing much." Meredith replied, she was liking this whole jealousy thing, it added a dash of happiness to her holidays. "So uh…what happened with Addison? She left kinda…distraught"

"Nothing. She's fine, yeah she's always fine…Waiiiit a second." He said suddenly causing both of them to stop walking in the parking lot. "What do you mean by 'just a guy like me'?"

"It doesn't mean anything."

"Well it surely seemed like it did otherwise you wouldn't have said it…"

"I'm just saying that you're just a guy to me now, not my boyfriend anymore so technically I'm free."

"Oh…"

"Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I don't want to spend the rest of Christmas Eve standing out here in the cold especially in a parking lot…again. So bye Derek. I'll talk to you later."

"Well at least you're not yelling at me this time…" He mumbled as she walked off to her car. "Meredith! Wait!"

"What!" She said a slight bit frustrated as she turned around.

"You're drunk, let me drive you home." Derek was trying to find ways to avoid spending the night with Addison.

"I'm fine Derek. I can drive, don't worry, I promise I won't kill myself. Just go home, go talk to Addison; you're a real married couple now, sort out your problems." And with that she got into her jeep and headed home.

_We have way too many problems to be sorted out right now. So I think I'll pass_. Derek thought to himself watching Meredith as she drove away leaving him alone in the freezing cold, and in a parking lot. Again, well at least it wasn't raining this time. Derek just stood there, just thinking, thinking about Meredith, about Addison, about work. Maybe he thought well when all was quiet, like in the O.R. After about half an hour or so, Derek decided it was time to go home, although, he didn't really want to go home to Addison, he knew he definitely wouldn't be sleeping on a mattress tonight, more like a couch. He got into his car and just drove away. If only he knew where…

_I just can't look it's killing me,  
And take control,  
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea,__  
Swimming through sick lullabies,  
Choking on your alibis,  
But it's just the price I pay,  
Destiny is calling me._

_>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_

Okay…That's it for now, I have ideas and stuff so I MIGHT be updating sooner? Don't know. Please review/comment!

-Yu-xin


	6. We Need To Talk

Chapter 6 –

Song of the moment: Chloroform Perfume by From Autumn to Ashes (they're freaking sweet). Please read and review/comment! Enjoy.

_The end result of so many meetings,  
At late night diners with no one eating,  
We sit in corners and sip burnt coffee,  
Count the tiles upon the ceiling,  
Skip this pretense and cut straight to dying,  
Don't pick me to keep your eyes from crying,  
You said so much without ever parting your lips._

Meredith drove home from her little incident with Derek in the parking lot…once again. She walked through the front door and into Santa's little village and went to lie down under the tree for one last time. Sooner or later, Izzie, George, and Doc joined along.

"I swear, this dog, animal, thing, whatever! Is gonna kill me." George complained after about twenty minutes or so under the brightly lit up (by none the other…Izzie, of course) Christmas tree.

"Aw you mean Doc?" Izzie loved the thing…well…maybe a bit too much since it's the holidays and everyone's all mellow around that time.

"Yes. Him. What kind of name is Doc?"

"A perfectly suitable name for a dog that lives in a house with 3 DOCTORS."

"Well it's going to be 2 doctors pretty soon if _DOC_ is still around."

"Oh George, you're just simply overreacting." Meredith said trying to halt all the arguing.

"I'm a doctor. Not a vet."

"Maybe you should become a vet then, get to know animals a little better! They don't bite…" Meredith said jokingly. "Wait…never mind, forget that, they do bite. Okay forget what I said. Just umm…spend some more time with him."

"Psh. Yeah like that's going to happen!"

"He's hopeless…" Izzie whispered to Meredith.

"I can hear you ya know! I'm not deaf."

"We can debate that later, I'm off to go do something and not waste my jolly good Christmas at home." Meredith said, standing up from under the tree. She sighed for a minute and stomped upstairs into her room and collapsed onto the bed. She closed her eyes and just laid there, in the motionless atmosphere…until…

_Ring…Ring…Ring…_

Meredith searched the room for the ringing noise. She finally pinpointed it to her cell phone. She quickly grabbed it out of her purse. "Hello?"

_And I keep repeating, but this payphone tele stopped receiving,  
Flat out of change now I'm sure you won't accept the charges,  
It's all the same cause by the morning I'll be halfway to Colorado,  
Or some place like that._

Derek drove out of the parking lot and headed out of town. Well…not exactly. He drove to the ferryboat station and got out of the car and slumped to a bench. Sat down and sighed. He was debating whether or not to call Meredith; his cell phone was practically warming up from him tossing it around in his hand. Finally after some time, he flipped it open and dialed Meredith's number.

_Come on…Come on…Please talk to me and don't hang up._

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Hello?" Meredith answered picking up the phone wondering who could possibly be calling her at this time…on Christmas, although, she did have some ideas.

"Meredith?" Derek asked hoping she wouldn't hang up or something.

"Derek?"

"Yeah…It's me."

"Oh my god! Derek! What are you doing? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, well yeah, I guess you could say something is somewhat wrong. I just can't stop thinking about you…and Addison isn't helping much." He said kind of nervous about how she would respond.

"Oh…well, do you need something?"

"Yeah…about that…I need to talk to you…"

"Me? Uh…now? Um…if it's really necessary." Meredith wasn't so sure about this…but what the heck.

"Okay…Can you meet me at the ferryboat dock in like 20 minutes?"

"Sure. Derek, are you sure you're okay?" She was a little worried.

"I'm fine. I'll see you soon." And he hung up.

_You said so much without ever parting your lips,  
It's past 3 am and I'm still far from sleep,  
This is a habit that I can't break,  
You're my only company,  
I'm skipping stones down a south suburban street._

Meredith grabbed her jacket and her keys and walked downstairs, apparently, Izzie and George were too busy running away from the dog to notice her come down. "I'm going out, I'll be back later!" She yelled and stepped out, got into her car and headed for the docks.

About 15 minutes later, she parked her car and went to find a spot, or finding Derek would be much better. She saw a shadowy figure pacing back and forth. _Hmm…that must be Derek_ she thought.

Okie Dokie…that's all for now. I hope you all liked it…And it may take some time for me to update next time, I have finals coming in school and yeah. Anyways. Please leave comments or reviews!

yuxin ---- that's cool


	7. Are You Sure?

Yay. It's chapter 7! So yeah…I'm actually updating. Like woah. SORRY FOR THE LONG UPDATE TIME… Anyways the song is Chalk Line by Strike Anywhere. Please read and review! Thanks!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_We see the billboard girl  
the one devoted to ritual  
standing in the rain  
holding all of her pain inside. _

I know you're hurting now  
but I can't point my finger at  
the words I should or shouldn't say  
anything  
to take the pain away.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Meredith headed into the direction of the foreign shadow pacing back and forth.

"Derek?" She asked…hoping it was him and not some stranger.

"Oh hey. You came. Okay. Good. Great." Derek seemed a little…tense.

"Yeah of course, you thought I wouldn't come?"

"Well…You know…Seeing the current circumstances between us…I can't think much from you now, can I?"

"No…No you can't. Well at least we're talking. You know?"

"Yeahh…About that. We need to talk."

"…Yes."

"So how are you?"

"I've been better, how bout you?"

"Ha. Oh I'm doing terrifically brilliant. Can't you tell?"

"Oh yes. I noticed everything pretty much when I saw you."

"Yeah…"

"So um…how are things between you and Addison? Good? Bad?"

"I would say…bad…really bad…"

"Oh…" She couldn't help feeling a warm dwelling inside of her.

"She kinda saw us at the bar…you know, she saw me. You. Together. At the bar…"

"So what are you doing here talking to me? Shouldn't you be talking…to HER?" Meredith asked, just wondering what he would say.

"Technically yes, but we're not going to be technical right now."

"Fine then, put it this way, you and Addison are on a fraying tightrope, and you're just trying to keep from falling. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine Derek."

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

_To walk alone on the streets tonight  
and fear nothing  
to choose to love what we are in this life  
and shine brighter.__  
Don't let the crosses and dollar signs,  
the symbols of man unkind  
make you feel  
that you're not real  
all this time walk out,  
out of the shadows._

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

"Meredith…"

"Derek. Don't."

"I…wasn't…just…" He stammered.

"Okay. I'm going to put it this way, it's like we're heading at a brick wall at 100 miles per hour…and everyone's arguing about where they want to sit. It's stupid. You have a wife, go…be with her."

"Well you could say that. But you see, I don't WANT to be with Addison right now…"

"…Derek…"

"Wait…wait for it. Just hear me out okay?"

Meredith sighed and thought, well this is better than most so what the heck.

"Okay, so um yeah. About Addison…we're just not connecting, it's not working between us, you can tell. I've already tried and she's tried…somewhat. We're just not clicking at the right places."

"Don't worry, I've noticed."

"Well it seems like everyone pretty much has too…I think it's just not working between us two, it's depressing being with her. I'm sorry to say that – but it just is."

"Derek…are you sure about what you're saying…? Are you positive this is how you REALLY feel?"

"Yes. I'm sure. But I don't think I can quite tell her yet…it's just not the right time for this."

"Oh…" Meredith couldn't keep from feeling bursts of warm joy within her. A small, crooked smile started forming on her face.

"Ah I see you're happy to hear that…" Derek joked.

"Oh hush."

"Haha. It's just…I can't stand to be around her too long, did you know Mark actually called me not so long ago…asking to speak with Addy."

"Mark? Your…friend…Mark, Mark?"

"Yes. Mark, Mark."

"So what happened then? Did you let him talk to her?"

"No, I just hung up. Didn't say a word."

"…oh…"

"Yeah. Anyways." He said, turning around. "It's getting late…and I'm sure we both have work tomorrow…"

"Yeah…"

"Well thank you for showing up and listening to me. You know."

"It's fine. My pleasure. Goodnight now."

"Goodnight." He stood there for a while…just thinking before he walked Meredith back to her car. "I'll see you tomorrow then I guess."

"I suppose so, good night Derek." She got into her car and started the engine.

"Bye…" He put his hands in his pockets and just stood there, thinking about all that he said to her in just 25 minutes. So much power within so little time. It's amazing. Really.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_We see the lines in chalk,  
the warning sign for where we walk._

_In the shadows of the cities maze,  
to try and fight  
for better days. _

Yeah we're ungrateful  
yeah we're ungrateful for  
holy books, religious men  
values of beauty, original sin  
all this time we unwind it  
I won't give up, I'm not afraid.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Yep. Okay. I'm done for now…I'll try to update as soon as possible…PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW! Thanks!

-Yuxin


End file.
